New work

I've been toying with this piece for a while now, never quite satisfied with how it was shaping up. I think I am finally happy with it, but I may revisit it later. Until recently, the work I did for textiles and the more conceptual illustration I created were very clearly divided. I used Adobe Illustrator (and only Adobe Illustrator) for print design and anything else was painted or collaged but always with a tactile element. Lately the two methods have blended together. I find myself seeing a patch of texture or color from something I've created with paint or pastels and making it into a pattern. I've also come to appreciate the ease with which I can create illustrations that are non surface design related in programs like Illustrator or Photoshop. Mostly because it doesn't leave me breathing in pastel dust or fixative fumes and there is way less mess to clean up when I'm done. The below piece is a combination of all the mediums I enjoy working with - the colors were mixed, painted and scanned then turned into pattern swatches for Illustrator. I drew/painted all of the elements of the composition in illustrator using the blob brush and choosing my paint texture swatches once I had a composition I was satisfied with. I went back and added more detail, refined some areas or moved things around. I think I'm done, but conctructive criticism is always appreciated:

I like trees

I used to hate drawing trees, but lately they seem to be popping up in everything I do. Here is my latest:

*Update* 

I changed this piece a bit:

If you like me....

.... And I hope you do, you'll do me a HUGE favor. See | Me is searching for the highest supported members in consideration for special awards and extra exposure. I have until December 12th to reach 25 supporters for a feature on their Facebook page.

The more supporters, the closer I’ll be to being their next featured artist. But, I need you guys to use the ‘Support’ button located near the top right corner of my profile:

http://katharinesandalls.see.me/ 

And while you're at it please support the amazing Christa Mae Holmes as well:

http://christamaephoto.see.me/

And because I love you, here is an illustration I did:

I am an evil giraffe....

I drew this (it's a giraffe)

I no longer have much of the artwork I created during my childhood. I have a few sketchbooks and some prized drawings (like the masterpiece above), but for some reason I don't have stacks and stacks of drawings. I know there are stacks and stacks because all I ever did as a kid, was draw. I'm certain my mother kept everything she could get her hands on and somewhere in my parents' home there is a humongous box filled with drawings I did from the time I was able to hold a drawing implement. But I'm also pretty sure I might have destroyed a lot of what I didn't give to her, or to other avid supporters of my craft. I was a perfectionist and if I advanced in skill level at all, I didn't want to look at that garbage I had created before. Looking at it made me embarrassed I was ever so horrible! However, now the thought of that makes me a little sad. Aside from having the mementos from a childhood spent creating, I'd be interested to chart my progression as an artist - although, I may become embarrassed by some of it and destroy what I hate - so maybe not. 

I'm not sure when the giraffe drawing surfaced, but my mother had it hanging on the fridge when I went home for a visit - I think maybe six or seven years ago - back before facebook, but during the myspace era, I know this much because the giraffe became my myspace profile picture. But I don't think I ever thought to ask where the drawing came from, how old I was when I did it (maybe 4?), or why it was suddenly being showcased on the refrigerator after several decades of hiding (she probably knew I'd destroy it if I didn't like it). I was in my twenties and probably too selfish to care, or maybe I asked and have since forgotten. That is the weirdest thing I've noticed since my thirties began (sorry for the impending tangent) - I still feel physically the same, maybe even better because I exercise more and eat better, but my mind is much more spacey - I forget more stuff than before, but only things that happened in my twenties, and yeah that would make sense for some who perhaps spent their twenties killing their brain cells with alcohol, but I'm not much of a drinker (and no, I don't care if you drink - I just never developed the desire to consume alcohol). I think maybe my almost 32 year old mind is embarrassed by my mind from my twenties and is trying to destroy all memory of the stupid thoughts I had or things I said and did.... Just like I used to do to those drawings from when I was a kid! Weird. Unfortunately I still remember every stupid thing I thought, did or said from my adolescence - so it's not working to my benefit. I was way stupider then. Maybe my forties will fix that.

 Anyhoo, this may be a bit premature, as I don't think I have any regular followers... yet, but the first person who can tell me - in the comments section - what the title of this post is a reference to and can finish the rest of the sentence "I am an evil giraffe...." (not randomly finish it, you have to finish the actual quote) will get a signed print (no larger than 8.5x11) of my artwork (a piece of your choosing) mailed to them (we'll work out those details once someone actually gets the correct answer). Be specific, if you know what the quote is, then you can give the details and you know what I mean by details.

Check the links section to see art I haven't posted on here yet for available signed print options.

And here is a current(ish) giraffe illustration:

I have the sads....

I'm not trying to bring anyone down today, but this morning I woke up in tears. I'm not crazy, I swear (maybe only a little). However, I had a good reason - my mom died about two months ago and while I've been grieving in what I think is a pretty normal fashion during my waking life, I have only had two dreams about her since she passed away. I am NOT one to share dreams because frankly I find listening to other peoples' dreams to be the most annoying thing in the world - seriously people, your dreams make no sense, it's not a good story and IT DIDN'T EVEN REALLY HAPPEN, so stop telling me about them! I'd rather have my wisdom teeth removed than listen to your dream! I'd rather spend a week in line at the DMV and once the line ends, you don't get squat - not a license, Not a permit, not a non driver ID, not a vanity license plate, NOTHING! That is how much I hate listening to other peoples' dreams. Seriously - buy a dream journal, write it down and leave me out of it, please!

Anyway now I'm going to be a hypocrite for a minute and tell you about my dreams (it's my blog, I can do that). Don't worry, I'm not going to get into details and the only long winded part of this has already occurred. My first dream about my mother was a week ago I think, it didn't really upset me because I knew in the dream that she had passed away but I got to see her face again and it was sort of nice and reassuring. But Last night was the WORST. The dream itself was great, Mom was still alive and the last two months were all a bad dream! YAY! Not yay. Boo. Because I woke up and my stupid dream that had made me so happy was all a lie. I was so upset, it was one of those dreams like where you win the lottery and it's so real and you wake up and you're still broke and you never even buy  stupid lottery tickets anyway so why would you think you won? Idiot. That's what it felt like only a million times worse because this was my mom - who I miss more than anything and my stupid brain lied to me and promised she was alive. My brain is such a jerk. Why would you do that to me brain? why are you so mean? Did you think you were helping, because you weren't. Now I'm sadder than I was before - like I feel like I did the day she died. I had two months of grieving under my belt and I was functioning and kind of normal (meaning I wasn't about to burst into tears on the subway or in the grocery store). I had this under control, I was missing my mom but I could actually get things done. Now I'm a mess and I'm writing about it in a somewhat public forum that is supposed to be about my art. I HATE YOU BRAIN! I should have killed all your cells with alcohol when I was in college! This is what I get for treating you with respect all these years. 

Okay, I feel a little better now that I've expressed that and this post will in fact be art related eventually. First a little about my mother. She was amazing. Everyone who has a good relationship with their mom will say that, but mine was. She grew up the second oldest of ELEVEN (yes I said eleven). Incidentally my grandparents were amazing people also but I'll get to that when I post the series I did of my maternal grandmother. Back to my mom, she had a rough life - not the first sixteen years - those were about as idyllic as life can be when you grow up in a house with TEN siblings. At sixteen her father, whom she loved very much, passed away very suddenly. It was extremely hard on her as well as her brothers and sisters and my grandmother and my grandfather's mother and sister and pretty much anyone who knew him. I don't think she was ever able to stop grieving his death. She met my father in college and they got married and eventually had some kids (me included). Sadly my older brother Ben was hit and killed by a car when he was eleven and my poor mother witnessed this. This also was hard on everyone - but my poor mother could never stop holding onto guilt, as if it had been her fault. But she was very strong, stronger than I think anyone ever knew. She suffered from chronic pain and several degenerative disorders that made day to day life very difficult and I always felt and still feel, the pain was only compounded by the horrible grief and unnecessary guilt that consumed her. She was a woman who could do so many things, she was smart and talented and beautiful. But I have never met a more self deprecating human being so blind to their talents and abilities. She was an amazing dancer as a child (she still had the moves the last time I saw her dance at a wedding). She was an accomplished pianist, but never played because the arthritis in her hands made them hurt too much (although once in a while she would sit at the piano and it was as if she'd never stopped practicing). She was a very talented writer - stories, poems - she probably could have been a lyricist with how good she was at rhyming. As much as she claimed to have no artistic talent - the woman was a master of cakes before they had reality shows about cake decorating. I mean look at this, she did this all by herself - it's to scale:

All of these things she was so good at - but it was her children's accomplishments she was much more interested in. She was our biggest fan, our biggest supporter, no matter how small the triumph. And she was there when we were down to pick us up again. She was the best mother. Not just to her own children, but to anyone who needed her (a trait she inherited from her own mother, I suspect). And boy did she spoil us all rotten. They called her Auntie Claus and she really earned that name.

I have no real conclusion to this so here are some portraits I did of her:

Untitled

the source was a photo of her and my father at the Yale prom. I wasn't kidding when I said she was beautiful. 

Mother and Child 

a portrait of her and my eldest brother Will as an infant

And even though it isn't my artwork, this is my favorite photo of her, ever:

love it.

Boy, do I miss that lady.

* Update* I do have a sort of conclusion to this post, I meant to include earlier. Of all the words of kindness I received right after my mom passed away, the sentiment that has helped me the most, was from a former co-worker and friend. This friend was very close to her own mother and had lost her a few years back. I remember (before my mom passed) how my friend would talk about how much she loved and missed her mother and it always broke my heart, because although I have experienced loss in my life, the thought of losing my own mother seemed impossible to handle. This friend said to me:

"This is the hardest thing you'll ever face in your life.... But you will get through this. Your mother is at rest and she is at peace."

I'm not sure why these particular words are so comforting, a lot of people have made similar statements to me. I think maybe the source - in many ways I think her relationship to her mother mirrored my own. Or the acknowledgement of how hard this is and will continue to be. But ultimately she believes I won't crumble from the weight of this grief. And even though I still tear up when I read her words, I can't help feel a little stronger too.

Sloths!

For a while the hipster set was very fond of owls. They were on everything. Not just for kids but in prints for women's clothing, housewares, stationary - everything! Owls  are cool I guess, I almost exclusively see ones that have a sort of retro vibe, but I prefer how real owls look rather than the overly stylized versions I was seeing everywhere. Real owls are pretty awesome looking - they need no stylization in my opinion. Plus the vintagey owls remind me of weird framed illustrations on the walls of my pediatrician's office - which had probably been up since the 50s. I think that style of owl was popular in the late 60s - 70s, but thinking back - the illustrations in my his office were probably older because he was a million and a half years old and I don't think they ever redecorated that office in the history of his practice. Anyway, because I had that anxious association with the doctor's office and retro owls, I never really liked the stylized way they were depicted.

At this point you're probably saying "what do owls have  to do with sloths?" well for starters, don't interrupt - it's rude. I'm getting to the point, so hang on a minute. I mention owls and their popularity because I think sloths are gaining popularity as "favorite animal". I'm starting to see a lot of cute sloth designs/illustrations/products. I've always loved sloths. They are so very strange looking and seem so good natured. 

Have you ever seen the video of the sloth trying to cross the road, but there is traffic so a group of people have congregated to try to slow down the traffic and then finally one of the people decides to pick the sloth up and carry him across at which point the sloth's arms go out and he arches his back a little and the genius editing the video started playing R. Kelly's "I Believe I Can Fly" as beams of light shoot out of the Sloth? Well if not, here it is (you're welcome):

 (*Update - I'm not sure if the embedded video was removed because of my negligence or what but just in case it disappears again - here is the link to youtube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba7rRfKIHxU/ )
It's amazing! Not just because it is hilarious, but because the sloth doesn't even seem to realize he is not actually controlling himself. Yes, I know - I'm anthropomorphizing the sloth, but they seem so unfazed by humans. Maybe they are just too slow to be frightened. And they have that permanent smile - how could you not love them?

Anyway, I have an illustration I did about 7 years ago at the peak of my sloth obsession called 

"Sloth's Day Out" 

He's on an adventure. 

There are several back stories about the sloth. There were a few versions: 

• One about how he is bored and wants to explore beyond the jungle
• One where the theme was about understanding one's limitations
• One was about the importance of helping others 
• One was about punctuality (snore)

 I created the illustration, used it for promotional cards - but then I wasn't doing anything with it so today I decided to extend it horizontally so I could slap it on a mug and sell it on Zazzle:

and now you can buy this on a mug here:

http://www.zazzle.com/sloths_day_out-168391762262404040/

 Maybe now that my obsession has been rekindled, I'll do some more sloth illustrations and come up with a solid story - who knows it might be worth publishing.

Sometimes I forget all the work I've done....

I often find I underestimate how much artwork I have created in my 31 (almost 32) years on this planet. I think it might have something to do with seeing the same work over and over, I start to think I'm not creating enough or I don't have enough quality work to showcase. Some of the work has been lost thanks to carelessness on my part: digital files have been lost when hard drives have crashed numerous times (I back up obsessively now), I've lent out artwork and I'm not sure I'll ever see it again (mostly because I know where it is and I'm too lethargic to retrieve it), or I've given/sold work before I've taken photos for my portfolio. Below are some Illustrations I did as samples for a manuscript. I'm guessing nothing ever happened with the manuscript or they decided to go with a different illustrator, because I never heard a peep about it after the client and I settled up. I was always taught by my children's book professor (the amazing and talented Patricia Cummings), that manuscripts should not be submitted  to publishers with art samples unless the manuscript and art are both by the same person. But when you're a freelance illustrator, sometimes a job is a job and adding my two cents about what a client should do just seems unnecessary. So I did the following and forgot about them, but looking back - I'm pretty satisfied with how they turned out. Also, ducklings are adorable and extremely fun to draw, especially wearing hard hats.